Re-Adjustment Woes #5: A Man and His Package

I saved the best for last. I was biking back from Binjiang Dao the other day and was passing a small commercial area that was across the street from an apartment complex. A man dressed in a white tee-shirt, cotton shorts, and those classic denim shoes was walking down the street smoking a cigarette. As I drew near on my bicycle I realized he was holding up one leg of his shorts higher than the other, and through the opening was hanging ALL of his man parts. I’m not kidding. He wasn’t creeping furtively from tree to tree, ashamed of his partial nakedness but suffering from some kind of wardrobe malfunction, and he wasn’t raving out loud like the legitimate lunatics do here; he was just a dude casually walking down the street with his unit on display. It was horrifying. It looked like a hairless kitten was trying to escape from his shorts. I get enough male nudity (more than enough, actually) at the swimming pool locker room. To see some guy parading through the streets casually displaying his parts like a hunter with a squirrel pelt made me want to veer my bike into the path of an oncoming bus and end it all. Bear in mind this was probably day 6 in Tianjin after coming back from Taiwan. There are many things that can ease the transition back into your home city. Seeing a strange man’s wiener is not one of those things.

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2 Responses to Re-Adjustment Woes #5: A Man and His Package

  1. Steven says:

    WOW!!! this is crazy… I’ve been living here in Tianjin for six years, but I’ve never encountered this. But I do hear such horrible news a lot.

  2. Cindy says:

    These are hilarious. This one is disturbing, but still funny.

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